Bloom in Darkness

Oils on 40 x 40 cm stretched canvas. 
Oils on 40 x 40 cm stretched canvas. 

Made some new flower paintings last weekend that are close to what I was trying to create when I came back to painting in 2005 after finishing my first (and art-free) college degree. 

One weird thing about them: I’m finally relaxed enough to do the work I wanted to do. Turns out worrying doesn’t help you get shit done. 

Another weird thing: The palette knife works best for what I want here—smooth lines, good transition between thin and impasto areas, clean contrastive pigment breaks. It’s a knife. That makes paintings look delicate. That’s using a swimsuit to make yourself look thin. 

Another weird thing: I didn’t work from real-life models. For years, I bought myself flowers under the auspices of painting (and writing about) them. But what I was really buying was time away from my guilt and grind, an excuse to breathe and be happy, and a little bit of feeling loved. Now I have all those things—time, happiness, love. I want to buy and plant more herbs and flowers in our new home… And I will. But I already have what they’re really about. So now I can paint flowers without buying them first.